In the category of both awesome and ridiculous, the Inflatable Toast Mattress is a gem. This baby is for all of you who have always wanted to feel like butter. Or possibly jam.(Thanks, Chris!)
We are giant fans of toast. I, specifically, am madly in love with toast and all it's forms, so it comes as no surprise that I love Dogboneart's Toasty Bread and Toaster. One day I will buy a glass case and fill it with toast memorabilia, right in the breakfast nook, so I can sup on toast and jam while marveling at my toast plushies.
The thing I love most about this toaster is that when turned on, it has this glowing red quality about it that makes it look like an infernal tape deck, devilishly converted into a toaster and released from the very jaws of Hell to infiltrate our kitchens with its coolness. And to frustrate us with the fact that it apparently only makes one piece of toast at a time. But that's okay, because it's so, so neat.
This toaster simulates the effect of the sun rising. If the sun was hanging on your wall. And somehow not burning a hole in it, or destroying all of humankind with its powerful solar rays, or sucking us all in with its massive gravitational pull. So really, it doesn't simulate the sun rising on your wall at all. It's just vaguely sun-shaped and gets brighter as it gets closer to toast-eating time. Which is good enough for me.
When the standard two pieces of toast just isn't enough (and when is it?), here comes the answer to all your prayers: The new six-slotted toast maker. And so stylish, too!
It's good to know that when people hold contests with a "Ceramics for Breakfast" theme, they have the right priorities. As is only fitting, a new device for making the delicious, delicious toast won first prize. This is huge in toast news! As the designer observes, "This toaster is designed to engage the user, re-invigorating the social context of toasting by questioning everything about what we toast with today." It's about damn time.
In the long line of wonderful toast related items comes the Hello Kitty toaster, which lavishes an adornment of Hello Kittyness to every slice of yummy toast to sate your toasty palate. And, which gives me a good segue to introduce Hello Cthulu, a webcomic about Hello Kitty, Cthulu, and well, toast:
It's been a good long while since I made a toast post. And while this is technically not about toast, but about a toaster-- and well, not even technically about a toaster, but about a guitar amp-- well, it's close enough.
Hottie Amps has gone and somehow combined the magic of music and toast in one fell swoop. They make guitar amps and fit them into vintage toasters. And they're sparkly.
Several people wrote in to tell me, while there isn't quite a movable type branding iron to customize your toast experience, some wonderful creature has invented a toast printer. In case, you know, you ever wanted to print out your Mapquest directions on toast.
I was saying the other day that I wished and prayed that I could brand my toast. You know, the way that cattle-ranchers brand cows. I really was. And I searched the internet, and apparently, toast branding irons do exist. I was ecstatic! But then I realized the one I'd found was an antique, and not only that, it was already on on hold for someone else.
Have any of you out there ever seen any other branding irons for toast?
It would be neat if someone made a kit, with movable type, so each day you could brand your toast with different sayings. This would bring me joy.
Dean on 
